SilvaraDragon

Hello Everybody!

I love everything that I've done here on Deviantart and all the friends that I've made. All of the art that we've shared, and all of the galleries that I've loved. But my username SilvaraDragon just doesn't make sense anymore. I made this account back in high school (seems like forever) never really thinking of any kind of professional name. But the accounts that I've been making all have been under a new name, and I would like to keep them all the same.
I might still post sketches here once in a while, but mostly I will be moving all of my new work to a new gallery. I'm also hoping to make this gallery more professional looking and put my very best work up there.

My new username will be McManamanimation.
McManamanimation.deviantart.com

"Do not think negatively about it (sketches). If it is not as satisfying a start as you would have liked, do not be critical--that is where you are--face it. Just turn the page and start another. All those faculties that are required to make a more satisfying sketch are being awakened--even now--as you search for a new subject and begin to sketch. No one in the universe would have drawn it quite like you. If you think you would like to do better make another, and another, and another. Keep the first ones. Watch the growth of your facility and your interest. " ~Walt Stanchfield, Drawn to Life Volume 1, pg 34.

So since my last update I have been working 2 non-art jobs. Both are just part time, but it pays the bills, especially since my sister and I inherited more after my mom passed. It's exhausting sometimes but I'm starting to feel much more motivated lately. I like working at my first job because it's just busy work with my hands, and my mind is free to wander. I've come up with more stories and ideas while working there than I ever did in college. It does get frustrating when I can't really stop to get it down as much as I would like to. And I've always enjoyed working at the Cafe so that's fun too.

I joined a gym last week. It's a good rate and when my brain is tired at the end of the day and it would be counter productive to make myself do artwork, I'll go there and work on my health instead. I'm feeling better about myself already. I'm trying to eat healthier too, but that's more difficult than I thought it would be....it's girl scout cookie season....

All my free time is going to a comic that will be published in April or May by Cellar Door Comics. It will be part of an anthology of many people's works, including my great friend Laurissa's. Mine is 18 pages long, and I'm really excited....and nervous because it seems that April is just around the corner. And it's the perfect reason to get my butt in gear and work on comics as much as I can. And it's good practice to see what kind of techniques I'd like to work on.

And when I'm not doing any of that, I'm going to try to read more art books and tutorials and pretty much study all the time. When I get bored with something, I'll just pick up something else more productive.

So pretty much, I'm working really hard and loving it. And the little time that I'm not working, I'm usually hanging out with my seester and my roommate. It's been great. I recently found out that my roommate and I are interested in Ghost Hunters and I'm glad I have someone to watch them with! And my seester is my best friend and I don't know what I would do without her. The three of us are planning on a road trip through Texas and New Orleans and Miami... kinda hunting for a new place to move to....ideally someplace warm.

As comfortable as I am and how great I feel right now though, I still have a hard time with most other people. I don't really want to be around them and I get frustrated very easily. Very. My birthday is coming up and I know my sister went through this too (and I didn't quite get it at the time) but it's not really a time to celebrate....the day my mom gave birth to me... It just feels wrong somehow, and it's frustrating when other people start pushing a celebration on me. I think it's nice but I just don't know how gracefully I can handle the pressure I'm feeling. So I'd rather just back away and have other people understand and leave me alone.

Anyways,
"Someone said "Change will keep the balance sheets in order" or something like that. We are not talking change for the sake of change--but for improvement--for expanding the consciousness, for an ever fresh and open-minded attitude to your piece of the universe" ~Walt Stanchfield. Drawn to Life Volume 1. pg 32

My last journal was pretty depressing, but I like to try to focus on all the good in my life. I have a cousin who only ever talks about the negative stuff and it drives me crazy and I don't ever want to be around her--I refuse to be like that. It is hard though, I'm a roller coaster of emotions and I have good weeks and bad weeks. This one happened to be a good one so I'll talk about everything good in my life.

I got my computer up and running again! It's upgraded and everything, and I forgot how many bugs Photoshop used to have but that's all fixed now too and working properly. My boss fixed it for me, and I'm jealous that I couldn't figure it out myself. But oh well.
I've been sketching a lot more. I think it's the only thing that makes me feel not so lazy when I'm sitting watching the accursed Netflix.
About a month ago, my sister and some friends all went to Las Vegas, first time for me. It was a blast, and I definitely spent too much money. But I didn't think I would like it all that much since I'm not much of a gambler, but I find myself not wanting to wait to go back. I think one of my favorite parts was getting to see my friend Paul again, whom I hadn't seen in 10 years!
The day I got back from Vegas, Cayla and I went to my cousin's bachelorette party and I found out that I can party harder than some people who party all the time when it's called for. Lindsey wanted to have a good time, so my sister and her maid of honor made sure that happened. We had a blast. I never got drunk in Vegas, but I got drunk that night
Then was the wedding. My sister and I were both bridesmaids. It's a 2 day affair for us, getting hair and nails and make up done, and rehearsals and all that. I didn't really want to do it at first, but it was amazing and I found myself trying to get closer to my family. I'm slowly learning that family are the only one's you can count on sometimes. The ceremony was short-it took longer to  take the pictures I wish I had more pictures of that day.
My dad turned 50 this year and my step-mom organized a surprise birthday party for him. She pulled it off with flying colors and my dad had a blast that night. Did a whole Hawaiian theme and had him wearing a grass skirt and seashell bra at one point. There were even a few friends who came from Kansas and California to come see him.
I didn't have to go job hunting right away--turns out there's enough to keep me on part time for a little longer. I need to get an art job pretty badly.
My sister and I had a Harry Potter marathon that had to go for 2 days, then I saw the 3 am showing for new one the next day. Crazy Harry Potter geeky nerdy week. I love being a nerd.
I'm feeling more motivated and I feel like I need to get my butt in gear. I'm feeling blessed for the friends and the family that are sticking around during these hard times, and even old friends who are contacting me again; and also for finding out who I can't count on either. I'm finding good music to listen to, I can pay my bills, and even send a sweet girl flowers for her new baby girl! I'm reading some really good books and I feel inspired a lot more.

I hope these feelings last and I can just look forward to more good days.

Well, for anyone who keeps up with me on Facebook, you already know most of this. But for those who don't.

The last few weeks have been really rough and I haven't been doing much art obviously. A few sketches here and there, but nothing really good.

My mom, Sue McManaman, passed away a few weeks ago at 47 years old. We knew something was wrong, but we expected her to get better. She was in the hospital over the weekend, with massive liver problems. That monday night, or Tuesday morning she had a bleed in the brain, and was put on breathing machines. She passed away that morning. The next week was spent on service arrangements, and family.
A week after the service, my boyfriend broke up with me as well.
And now my job is losing a contract and there's really not enough work to go around, so I need to start job hunting starting a few weeks ago.

So, needless to say, I've also been going through bouts of depression and I don't even want to get up to get my sketchbook, not that anyone really looks at my sketchblog anyways. Even friends from college don't 'follow' me even though I follow them. Not sure what's up with that. (although the one's that do, thanks!) Definitely a bit depressing though.

On the positive side:

I guess it's time to get up and start going again. I can start new and fresh. I am really hoping to find some kind of art related job, but I don't think I can in Denver. I'm trying to get to Seattle by August to really start new, but I'm not even sure that's going to happen.
My sister and I are hopefully going to start on our graphic novel soon. And I still have an animation to finish.
I also have a piece in an art show in Studio 12 in Denver right now. mcmanamanimation.blogspot.com/… My piece 'Foxes'. I hope to put more in the next show too if I can get my act together.
My sister and I have made a couple of memorial videos and I'm going to try to put them up on vimeo or youtube or something. They're long. I'm proud of them. Maybe I should make a business of doing those.

I feel like a turtle when it comes to working on art and posting it. I need to find a way to speed my process or something.

Well, it's already the end of January 2011! Crazy. I've really been working on trying to improve my digital art skills, which compared to what I was doing when I graduated and what I'm doing now, I'd say I'm teaching myself very well
Old: <fav.me/d214sng>
New: <fav.me/d36itva>
I just felt that there was no real career for me if I didn't improve myself. I still feel I have a lot to work on; backgrounds, animals, anatomy, color theory....

I'm working on a couple of different projects right now, and it's slow going with life and work getting in the way. But work hours are being cut again so no money + more time = more art I'm doing a piece that will be going into a Silent Auction in a few weeks. I'll print it on canvas and I already have a really awesome frame for it! It'll be great! I'll post the piece on deviantart and my blog soon.
My lil seester and I are working on a comic together. I've always felt my writing skills were weak, and I would love to have her be my partner on this, so we'll be doing it together. We're really only just at the beginning stages of all of it though and I'll post more when there's more to post.
I got a couple of pieces into some art clubs too so now I don't feel too bad about my artwork; and I'm slowly getting more followers of my facebook art page and my blog so that's something to be happy about. I may not be where I thought I would be in this time of my life, but rest assured that I'm doing my best and that's all I really can do